WARNING: Do not read if you do not want to hear a spin off of a Debbie-downer-or-Sally-McSadface-hater.
As a non-related intro...this is what I did when I waited for them to give me my after hours key for tonight/this morning:
Puts me back in high school when I would draw all over myself...mainly my arms and thighs. Passive-aggressiveness was key. I rebelled by wearing thigh highs and garters that no one saw and had x safety pins on my skirt that were too tiny to be noticed.
Everything has changed now.
I don't really know how to begin or where to begin.
My fatal mistake is this: letting people think that it's okay. Not telling people how I felt.
Freshman and sophomore years were times when I most definitely made friends. Friends that are available during the fairest of days and are grounded when they're not off in space shunning you with the rest of their astronaut friends.
This year, it's just the opposite. I've been losing the old and acquiring new. It feels great. Why waste time on people who can't pay fully attention to you when there are other people out there who are more than willing to listen to you when you need that extra ear to hear you out. It's almost selfish, but not in my case. I've lent both my ears and the five hundred and one ears that I do not have to people who just manage to just zone into their world and forget that you have your own to share.
Sorry I can't walk in the happy-go-lucky paths of pink roads.
Sorry you feel like a wall talking to me.
Sorry that you hate me as a person.
Sorry that I come off bitter when really, it's plain annoyance of the impracticality of grinning at everything when you're clearly in your own little world spacing out when you actually can't see (or feel) the gravity of certain situations.
I'm done with dealing with a couple of things and I'm ready for better situations. I'm off on my own adventures and my focus is so much better since I do not have people blocking my view.
P.S. I'm fighting the Bad Mojo as we speak. I won't let her win.
Everything has changed now.
And what's left is just aggressiveness.
I don't really know how to begin or where to begin.
My fatal mistake is this: letting people think that it's okay. Not telling people how I felt.
And now I'm on the loose with full ammunition, back firing in the forsaken name of karma.
Freshman and sophomore years were times when I most definitely made friends. Friends that are available during the fairest of days and are grounded when they're not off in space shunning you with the rest of their astronaut friends.
This year, it's just the opposite. I've been losing the old and acquiring new. It feels great. Why waste time on people who can't pay fully attention to you when there are other people out there who are more than willing to listen to you when you need that extra ear to hear you out. It's almost selfish, but not in my case. I've lent both my ears and the five hundred and one ears that I do not have to people who just manage to just zone into their world and forget that you have your own to share.
Sorry I can't walk in the happy-go-lucky paths of pink roads.
Sorry you feel like a wall talking to me.
Sorry that you hate me as a person.
Sorry that I come off bitter when really, it's plain annoyance of the impracticality of grinning at everything when you're clearly in your own little world spacing out when you actually can't see (or feel) the gravity of certain situations.
And I'm sorry that I'm not like you.
I'm done with dealing with a couple of things and I'm ready for better situations. I'm off on my own adventures and my focus is so much better since I do not have people blocking my view.
P.S. I'm fighting the Bad Mojo as we speak. I won't let her win.
~~~
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